S.A.S Paper Plantain Leaves

Once upon a time, there was a kingdom which went by the name Areyeecee, situated amidst Kyaatangal. Legends describe of how the citizens grew green plantains also called 'vaazha'.  Nobody gave them money or anything but they had nothing better to do since those damn laptops hadn't arrived yet. So, they kept growing all these 'vaazhas'. And they got a lot of bananas out of it, which they freely distributed to everybody in Kyaatangal. So, all were happy.

But, as in every good story, all was not well in Areyeecee. One fine morning, two men dressed all in black, arrived with a big book full of so many rules. And, they threw the book around that small kingdom. It spoke of the coming of an age called Yennaitee. It was supposed to herald heroes with pot bellies and money-money-money. And, so they all decided, enough of Areyeecee, we want Yennaitee.

And they got Yennaitee. With the money-money-money, the newly christened Yennaitee-ens with their pot-bellied hero at its head, decided to switch to SAS Paper Plantains. It had a much livelier green colour and was much more cost effective. And they were bigger. Like way bigger. Like ten times bigger. Their trunks were made of glass. And all Yennaitee-ens admired it because it was so big. Nobody knew why it was big and nobody had an opinion on whether it should be big at all but big was a novelty and big meant better than those usual plantains.

And then, they realised it. No bananas. Absolutely no bananas. And, that's when Kyaatangal had enough of it. All those Yennaitee-ens, they exclaimed. Once they ate only puttu, now they eat even grass and sing reggae. Not to mention the fact, they keep watering those SAS Paper plantains for bananas.

This state of affairs continued for sometime, until the angels finally decided that they should write a bigger book on affairs. Much bigger than the one those men in black had brought. They  knew that Yennaite citizens had a fetish for big. And the purpose of the book was to keep the land of Yennaite active all the time.

For example, it created this great big game called 'Musical Chair'. It was so innovative that even the angels fell in love with it and adapted a version for themselves. So did our pot-bellied hero. Even the Almighties above the pot-bellied hero who resided nowhere near Yennaite and had no clue  where Yennaite was situated at all or what Yennaite people did. 'Musical Chair' united them all. It brought forth a special bond between each other

But there were too few chairs and too many Yennaite-ens. So, united as they were, they decided every hundred people who can dance to 'Silsila' together deserved a chair. But there were too many hundred people. And that's when those elimination rounds started. Now, that was quite tough like that damn AyeAyeTeeJee that none of these Yennaite-ens could get. So, they trained with all dedication from their very first year in the kingdom.

And people who didn't like the 'Silsila' of the musical chairs did a lot of different things. Those laptops had arrived. That pwnd one section of the population and pwornd another. Between the aforementioned and fatbook, one third of Yennaite-ens disappeared. The rest turned up at the DeeJai night of course, when Raman Nair from Kunnamangalam and Soman Nair from Attapady came as Dee Jai RaNa and Dee Jai SoNa.

And while Yennaite-ens were busy with all these antics, the angels wondered why bananas never came out of paper plantains. Some started writing papers on it. But, nobody understood why. They decided ultimately that Yennaite-ens had all gone rotten and that it's each angel to angelselves and that it's a dog-eat-dog world. Historical sources contradict each other on which happened first, whether angels changed first or the Yennaite-ens changed. Yennaite-ens always so clever called it the chicken and egg problem and made it a cult phenomena.

Of course, our hero kept increasing his pot belly and burping. He could hardly get up out of that soft couch. He reasoned that Yennaite is a medieval jungle composed of jaguars and leopards, where he would get eaten if he takes so much as a casual stroll.

Between Yennaite-ens who played 'Musical Chair', Laptoped and DeeJayed and the angels & hero who dreamt of dogs-eating-dogs, a kingdom marched ahead to cobwebs with a bit of Shinkari Melam.

Of course, there was that occasional bearded man who kept hugging trees and those bunch of cartoon characters who decided that they would start a revolution and suddenly realised they were short of funds. But, what can you do when the land went to Plantains whose leaves were made of paper?