Moments

It happened during a time when the Spartanz were at war with Kalipz. (Those were the two groups into which we had divided ourselves in first year. Remember the names.) So, the memories are a bit hazy. It might seem that the author is trying to sound his own trumpet. It definitely is but knowing that the readers consider him an annoying idiot he will try to tone it down.

During my time, first year was usually defined by three intra-college fresher fests.

“Sangam”, “Spectrum” and “Debutante”. No. DnD hadn't come up to its present stature yet. And what else is special about first year besides all the work at Tathva and Ragam as well those “friendly” interactions with seniors? Every person worth his salt would be trying to impress somebody. It might range from a particular person to the general public as such. And if everybody were left to their own devices, I do think they would all start “fornicating with abandon.”( Yeah. Trivandrum Lodge was nice, no?) Okay, maybe I am exaggerating a bit. But, still.

Of course, I was no different. Except because maybe I had something going on back home, I had to put a cap on the whole fornicating-with-abandon process. (Not that I did succeed if I attempted. Stupid height issues.) But, then I loved showing off. And then the first intra-college fest came up, grandly titled “Sangam”. Roughly speaking, things I distinctly remember about Sangam would include Paapi's fitting reply to EC's chorus about Mech being equivalent to lowly grass(“pullaane”). Of course, I am not going to tell you what that was. Then I remember Achin doing an act on how to brush his teeth in between some skit, which duly served its purpose of teaching every uncontaminated soul who landed into this college something else as well. I am not going to tell you what that is either.

Skipping all that vague memories and turning the attention onto my hormonal impulse to get into the spotlight, I remember trying to co-ordinate things. That didn't work well. Between Shravan who had a lot of height and some really bass voice and Premettan, who for some unfathomable reason, seemed to be right in the centre of every co-ordination activity there ever was, I remember getting drowned.

So, I thought I did try my hand at some events. I think “True lies” was the first one. 
Screwed it up nicely and returned all dejected. That's when they told me I had got into the second round of the whole Mr and Miss Sangam thingy. The only thing I remember about the second round is running around the entire MB with two shoes tied on my head and secretly shouting “Those assholes.”

And, somehow I scraped through to the final round. Now, I do not want to go through my trials and tribulations and momentary emotions at each stage of the third round. Neither do you, I think. But, I guess I need to state certain important facts and incidents to make you comprehend the point I will elucidate further on.

At around that time, I had a major infliction of inferiority complex and for all the fame and fortune that I wanted, I was damn scared of getting on stage especially if the whole intention was to grill my personality. However, as luck would have it, the first two rounds went okay. Doing a Michael Jackson, teaming up with Anjali to say that alternate uses of buckets include elephant condoms and I was through to the third stage where the luck ended. And the third stage, which was a 'wacky dance' round messed me up properly. I had to redo the whole dance thing because it was that bad. And I didn't do well the second time either.

That's when the whole inferiority complex kicked in and it got accelerated initially during the final interview round, where in all fairness, my competitors pretty much said in as polite a manner as possible “Dude, we think you don't deserve it”. ( They were kinda right too.) And then the judging panel addressed a question to me. I remember the question and how I answered it. That wasn't really important.

It was the moment before. Imagine you are that inexperienced first year, probably trying to make a good first impression and get all popular. Imagine that to top it, you have an inferiority complex way bigger than your size. Imagine that you screwed up after having talked too much and all eyes are trained on you expecting you to blunder. Your head is about to get meddled up. And you are about to have a breakdown in seconds. (I had no clue about the actual situation. But, the scenario was something like this in my own head.)

And for some inexplicable reason, you refuse to give up like right out of one of those motivational books. A bit of  “waashi” maybe. A bit of  “One-for-the-memory”. Of course, I did end up blurting out total shit and did not get the title or the dance ;). But...

Four years down the lane, I am sitting at cubicle No. 2 in a computer lab at KMCET writing this three letter entrance examination. I finish the first part and collapse onto the desk with thoughts ranging from “hopeless” to “Life's ruined. College's ruined.” during the two minute break before the second part and chance upon a scrawling on the desk. “Spartanz”.

Very cinematic. Yeah. But, it launched me into a thought process which culminated in that same moment in Sangam. And then I went for the second part with a war cry. The cinematic and really dramatic style apart, I have no idea whether I will clear that examination with a proper score. I might. I might not.

But, I have learned to recognise that moment and respect it for its sheer awesomeness not only in me but in everyone. And, I have seen it a lot around here in this college(which is partially why I love the crowd here. The other reason being girls around here are reasonably hot. Reasonably, mind you.). That moment when your brain logically argues to you to give up and then on an impulse, you say “No.” irrespective of whether you are screwed anyway. And, that moment, when a couple of good memories give you all the strength in the world.

Dedicated to a junior of mine. ;)