Mediocrity vs Ambitions.

Now,even before I start my blog,I know there would be loud cries of indignation from different quarters of the mature adult world when they read this.They would comment on the kiddish,idealistic tendencies that I have.

Now,let's see,what the status quo is,in this country of this debate(No,it is not one sided as you might think.)Educated parents around here,send their kid to some expensive school.They force them to sit and study.

And in the end,the kid has only two choices really

1)Engineering.

2)Medicine.

If he is not good enough,he gets bundled off to some arts or literature college,which is supposedly not that great.

Did anybody ask the kid anything?

No.

And,from the very first day,he lands up here,a carrot is tied in front of him and he is made to run somebody else's race.And,when he falls,he gets ignored which means,his entire life is spent around in catching up so that he would get some attention.So that, he won't be looked down upon.

A haunting life.

But,why?A degree on top of another degree.A pack of certificates piled up one after the another,in stuffs that you don't care about.

Oh,you wanted to make an impact in this world?you wanted to become famous?your parents wanted you to become famous?rich?

Nobody including me,would assert that money doesn't matter.It does.But,then when you earn it,why don't you earn it by doing something you are passionate about?And,not something that you got pushed onto.

Around 60 years from now(if we live to see that age),we would glance back at life.Every Kodak moment would count.All the God-I-got-really-fucked-but-I-sailed-through experiences would count.When you get out of your house and when you hear that old friend(grey.frail.beaming) of yours yelling at you for another game of cricket,that would count.The high fives would count.So,would those awesome memories of bunking,yodelling and doing crazy stuff.That awesome life you lived with your sweetheart counts and the messed up disaster of relationships you have had before that would also count.

My 12^th grade(read Senior High in my country) Physics tuition teacher was the best that I had.I respect him a lot.He continually asks me to shut myself up in my college library and study day in and day out.But,one day when I visited him on my vacation,after the usual “sit-and-study-and-do-nothing-else”,he started describing his college days. He turned out to be a total wacko,who did mad stuffs at college. And,the laughter that echoed from him,when he related his college days,was what made an impression on me,not the fact that a brilliant guy was sitting there as a 12^th grade tuition teacher

And,your family?My favourite tv series would be undoubtedly Castle.There is this terrific scene in that series,where Castle shows Beckett(search Wikipedia to know who they are),a photo of him and his daughter,when she was around 3 years old.He describes how around at that age,he would make sure that at the end of each day, he would take her for a visit to the park.He continues by commenting on the fact that she has grown up and would probably assert her independence.Beckett remarks how his daughter would be asserting her independence,knowing that even if she falls,she would have her best friend(read her dad) behind her to catch hold of her.

Unimportant?Sounds gay or lame or mushy?Really,my friend?

In the end,I am throwing at you,a facebook status that I put up inspired by another comment my friend,Venu put up in his profile,

So,you have one more semester to go before some weird accident happens and you get chucked out of the world.And,you know it.How would you live that semester?rat races do not make up life:P, they seriously don't.Get your perspectives right.

Even if you end up being mediocre,I suspect in the end you wouldn't care two cahoots.

A Thesis on Lurve.

It was night.I was holed up inside one of those AC buses,about to leave Trivandrum..I casually glanced across the one way glass.I could see my dad at some distance.He was fidgeting with his phone.And,my eyes darted beyond him and random thoughts started inflicting my mind.
Not random actually,it was more about this curious phenomena called 'love' which have made the newer generations go really hormonal.And,when you are nineteen turning twenty,have had three relationships(well,to be honest,the first one was hugely whacked apart when the girl gave my first ever love letter to her mom and the mom decided I was a very cute baby.heartbreaking.And the second one,after going on for like three years and then drifting off,the girl comes and tells me..dude, you were my little bro.really very annoying.) and being surrounded by whackos who have whacky relationships,this was something that I could actually sit and think about.
So, roughly my thoughts went on like this.
"
The love market is thriving,these days.You see those frills and hearts everywhere.'Men are from Mars,Women are from Venus' is a run away hit.And,my hometown is littered with love smitten butterflies,who complain about the lack of meeting places in Trivandrum.Hmm..This is amply illustrated by the fact that these days,when you visit the museum,you have to be careful around the bushes.Don't go too near them.seriously.

And,these days the kids start even earlier.When I was in school,a couple of my friends,once caught this kid in junior class.He had written this love letter to some other girl in class.Now,we would have still been like "kids-these-days...",hadn't all the other girls in class turned in letters,written by our young romeo.All my friends could do was look at each other and start recounting the glory days of their childhood gender wars.I mean seriously I know it's the generation gap speaking.
But,I believe that kids should try the merry-go-round first and then fall in love.It would seriously ruin the merry-go-round experience,if they fall in love first.

And,these days it's love polygons that's in the vogue.You ain't cool until you are in something where you lose count as to who loves who :p.A loves B,B loves C,C loves A,D love B's big bro,C loves A's dad....very annoying.Why can't people keep it simple?.Such Drama.

Not to mention all those who sit silently and bear the antics of their lurve,even though some of them come close to torture in the name of,well,love.Well,no comments.
I understand in love you have to give up stuff and some part of your independence.But,then seriously,if the moron on the other side take it for granted,ah well.

But,somebody once told me,all this hullabaloo is quite justified.That's why it's called love.There's a hundred and one shitty ways of making crap out of yourself,when you go after that love thing and then there's one right way,which nobody knows exactly(And yet they don't freaking shut up talking about it,do they?like this blog for instance.).So,much for that.

Come to think of it,I guess the reader,just like me,won't have the faintest idea as to how one half of the world falls for the other half.It would have been much more convenient if everybody could have sex as they please(that does not include incest, by the way.),without going into something which for half the time is a pain in the ass for everybody.We are disasters in this messy business.

All said and done,even the reader would agree it's sometimes awesome fun,plunging in and out of love.Going into depression and then coming out of it,when you see another gorgeous babe or hot guy walking in the distance.And,with some rotten luck,some pest of a guy or girl will get stuck up with you for the rest of your roller coaster life.It did be cool."

The bus started,my father stopped fiddling with his phone and finally called me.He had waited for nearly an hour outside.He had earlier,proclaimed that he would go only when the bus started.He wanted to make sure I was alright.Now,usually I would have started on how I was twenty years old etc.But,that time,I did not.I could see that he was sad about me leaving Trivandrum.He missed me.And,I remembered,this was the same look that he had on his face,when during my childhood,he dropped me at school.

Love eh?

After,all the analysis people sit and do on it,it still manages to truly astound you.

College.

Dear Reader,

A week later,I will be leaving Trivandrum for my college.A flood of thoughts is pouring into  my mind as I live out the countdown,about my college.And I wanted to jot it down.

When you are in school,life's a lot simpler.You can dream the tallest of dreams.You are surrounded by people who love and protect you.There's that wonderful gang of your's,people who lived a lifetime with you.And so on and so forth.But,I am not in school now.I had made that transition one year back.And one week later,I will be officially entering my second year at college.

My feelings?hard to fathom.Engineering is something I don't like and Electronics and Communication is something I don't like at all.Transistors,resistors and capacitors look better to me when it is flushed down the toilet.And PCB's look better when I smash it down someone's head.I guess that expresses my love for Engineering.As like a million others in the world,the kid with the tall dreams fell into the rut of living out other's expectations once he graduated out of school.

But,whatever.

So College life(and some of my resolutions ;) )....

Friends?I seemed to have made a bunch of them.I have a gut feeling that some of those bonds will get really deep.It's the one redeeming factor about that college.A hostel life filled with a wide variety of characters,some of whom you have really grown to like and respect.I hell want it grow.deeper.three more years eh?\m/

Girls?Ahem Ahem.To be fair,I don't yet really know any of them.I mean.... really know.And since,All throughout my life back in Trivandrum,I have been surrounded by really proud, dashing,attitudinal tomboys including my sister,my mom and my bring-the-world-down friends,I have developed a prejudice over here in my college.There are a few hot chics,some very cool ones,one or two really innocent ones...quite a mixture but then aah well.I hope I can break a lot of ice there as well as a lot of prejudices.give me some time.:D

L n D?okay.In short,it's a club back there in my college.Not everybody gets into it.And those who do develop a long lasting relationship with it.It takes a long time for me to relate to stuff,get sentimentally attached and learn to  miss it when it's not there.Not to mention,I am inherently lazy and this is one hectic club,planning and doing all sort of stuff..So,I am looking forward to this one.this relationship eh?

Dreams?Yeah okay.I made a mistake.But I guess sitting around and cryin won't do.Campus placements are not what I want I guess,really.It did be fun attending all those interviews.But,I want to do something maddening with life.Not sit in an office.I do plan to write every single examinations around.all those three-letter,four-letter ones you can think of.yeah every single one of them.for the fun of it.And,I am certainly attempting some of those childhood dreams.Astronaut, Spy,Cryptographer,Mathematician,Astronomer,Teacher...its a long list, really.I seem to be suffering  from a lack of goal.I do actually,I havent found out what I really love and I am not going to make the same mistake twice.Read transistors,resistors,capacitors and PCBs.An ode to jumping around,acting crazy,and doing mad things till you find what you love.

My Love?No not the dreams...the live one..wow that sounds real dorky.extremely.so,shove it.She already knows.perfectly.

My Schoolmates?wait a second.How do they connect to my college life?.I wont be able to explain it but they do.I may not maintain contact very often.toldja,I am inherently very lazy.But,I did like to keep some of them really close to my life.of course,things are not what it was.We have all changed,havent we?from the really fantastically wild kids we were,now each of us living our own lives.But,that doesnt mean anything really.There is this awesome amount of happiness and glow I get when I see and talk to some of you.And to these people I say, I hell dont wanna miss anything in your lives nor do I want you people to miss out on mine.promise?

My School?eh.....Ah couldn't resist again.yeah I know I am talking of college life.And whenever,I am at crossroads in my college life(I guess,there will be a lot many on the way)I will be coming back here to fall back to the memories,to get inspired to choose what I really want and to fucking party with life...roots eh?the 14 years....yeah I am in college but I am going to hold on to this one.won't grow up.no chance in hell.:D

And now for the ending. cmon how do I end this?When I finally got out of school,I had an inner glow.A feeling that I had fuckin lived it the way I wanted,giving two cahoots to everybody and yet I had people surrounding me who loved me for what I was.I had done a lot of crazy stuff.And I had developed a bond.I chose this college because of a lot of reasons.Some of them were not at all stupid(sarcasm!sarcasm!).And,some of them,never materialised out.ahem.And now it's kind of uncertain.(which is about the best word I could come up with.)But,isn't there something sexy in the uncertainess?eh?And so,There's one thing I wanna shout out loud and clear amidst all that uncertainess.When I come out of my college,it will be exactly similar to the way I got out of school.

It's a promise.

your always,

Torque.

 

 

Dear dude-sitting-before-a-monitor-reading-this-muck,

I had this recent phone-in conversation with one of my school mates.It started with the present day mature stuff....studies,women(the one thing that is always there,whether past or present ;) ),about where we would end up and all the fun and frolic in college life.But,it didn't take us long to sweep all that away and take a jump back into the past..into our skool life..

A sane biology period.We are all sitting around and yawning the heck out.Ma'am's voice seem to float towards me.."Thus,genes are the fundamental part of life...blah blah....If you can mutate them,you can even change into a super being...".....I am half asleep,lying with my head on the desk.Suddenly the desk shakes,and I lift my head and to my awesome amazement,I see maadu standing on the desk,shouting out "Heeeee-maaaaaan" and striking the classic super hero pose.We look at ma'am....a long pause...."Get out,all of you in that bench"...we slowly shuffle out of class...and then look at each other and maadu....eyes blink for sometime.. and then laughter explodes..

our class was near the principal's room....a comfy corridor separating both...and a water cooler standing in the middle of the pathway.It all starts with someone sprinkling water on someone. ...tribal whoops...and before before anybody can comprehend anything,its world war....the bell rings..the destruction we have caused is evident from the flooded corridor and the wet classrooms and the wetter uniforms...suddenly,the principal comes into our classroom,slips,just about holds himself..."who flooded my room?all of you'll face the consequences.."before he finishes,he slips and falls and then stutters out of the class.....thankfully,because he is absent minded,he forgets the whole thing..

Principal's room.

we are being questioned for a major stuff that happened in skool.

Susu's been already interviewed.My turn.

Principal:you ignited the spark and goaded people to do it.

me:I didn't.(I honestly hadn't done it)

Principal:How dare you lie to me..(censored)...you....(more censoring)..I know you started it.I have asked a lot of people and have done a lot of investigation.Don't you dare lie to me....(as in the pepsodent ad...after this point....dhishum dhishum..)

me:sorry,Sir,I confess to it.I did the entire thing.(moment of xtreme craziness and hysteria)

Sushu:????????????

Principal:very good kid,you told the truth.you are free to go.

me:!

sushu(his looks suggesting):@$%#%!!!!

and that's how I escaped getting punished for something I didnt do in the first place.:D

...christmas celebrations....

the venerable blessing sorta ceremony, where everybody is supposed to be dead serious, going on.every single one of us in a gung-ho mood.we occupy one of the rows in the auditorium.A very important guest and eminent priest starts talking.he talks on and on and anon...We are getting restless...and then he says something ambiguous like"with this I know I should stop my speech,but I can't without talking...."...we don't wait...we jump up and start clapping and hooting.hush-hush in the entire auditorium.the only sound being the "alambu" created by one single row standing on their feet...the speaker looks agitated....the principal's eye bulge.it resembles an ostrich's egg...we all look at each other amidst the scene...looks rangin frm "uh-oh" to "we are screwed"...

two days later...

we are sitting down writing the model exam for boards.

loudspeaker:(shouts a list containing all our names)...the "troublemakers" at the auditorium are required to meet the principal today and bring their parents tomorrow and collect their transfer certificates day after tomorrow.

It doesnt turn out that bad but the copyrighted name never goes off.........troublemakers..:D

Another story,which I heard from my friends..happened when I was absent..damn..Its a really boring day...the guys decide to mass bunk skool after they came there to go and see the new film "twenty-twenty".Principal comes in second period,notices the low attendance..."ho ho ho..where did all of them go?did they mass bunk skool to watch twenty-twenty?"he sees a lot of shocked eyes looking back at him."...(censored)..they did eh??"..thankfully,because of his jolly mood,he let's it off...

physics tuiton...me,sushu,maadan,vinu,abu...the tutions are from 4:00 to 5:30.everybody is punctual initially....initially...and then the fun starts...a month later..we are coming at 4:30 ,telling a load of jackass reasons.this phenomenon continues and finally forces Sir to shift it to 4:30.So,we start coming at 5:00...he mumbles and mumbles and curses....finally he's had enough when one fine day,we arrive,in full glory, at 5:15...he takes one look at all of us and roars out

"Neeyokke irangi odadey...."

As I continued talking with sushu,a lot more of these totally hilarious incidents came up.cutting classes and playing in the ground,bursting crackers during skooltime,running behind all the hottie girls,walking and dancing together in the rains,the crazy excursions where we did the whackiest of things(you seriously wuldnt wanna know),those bloody fights we landed up into(or which I landed the others into),all the times we got real screwd up....

Now,the important and the sentimental part....where's my tissue paper...damn.

hehe..skool...the 14 years..... twas fantastic...every moment of it...and even now,I visit my alma mater,when the crowd's not there and lose myself to all those crazy memories..that's the best medicine I have if I am pretty moody and down...as always,I dunno why exactly I am writing missing-skool posts..maybe... bcoz I just don't want to part with that place.not yet.I constantly like to remind myself of the place I came from and the promise I made when I got out of it.

oh,the promise?...simple enough in writing...to not change...one smashing year in colg has passed and I havent changed.nope.I am still that same old kiddo. I kept my promise and I guess I gave it back to the skool that gave a lot to me...I am still giving it back...and I pray...that I'll be able to keep that promise ..to be the dork...always.

:)

that's it.me signing out,

yours lovingly,

the dork....

I meant...

the torque.;)

"We had joys.."

Dear whoever-cares-to-read-this-blog,

a christmas eve.a brief period of inactivity and my mind strays itself into random thoughts.three more days and I'll be leaving home for a college far away..home..Trivandrum...nearly one month ago...I set my foot here..hoping to get a respite from my college life,which honestly speaking havent meant much to me.(yeah well I had fun and as usual ended up in a potload ova shit but it did lack a finesse..the inner si...:P)I always thought college had somehow changed me.

So,when I came back home,I decided I would visit my school first and do a bit of soul searching.late evening,I took off in my honda and traversed through the empty pathways leading to my school.As usual,one thing led to the other and I was in the past rather than the present.(which being a usual case.I m quite the dreamy kind)..though, due to a lot of humps on the road..my reminscence got interrupted quite a bit.Ironically,when I finally reached my school,the guard did not let me in.He certainly did not seem to care about nostalgia or the higher things in life..I returned dejected but seeing a couple of hot chics on the pathway led onto another trail of memories..:D

the next day,I visited the school officially...as an ex-student...I entered the school after doing quite a bit of glaring at the guard..and met my teachers.a lot of chitchatting ensued.interestingly,I heard much about how school life was slowly degrading.the generation gaps were certainly widening.they must have said the same things to our seniors.:Dbut,I found myself agreeing to what I heard.you feel a glow when you are described as the end of a glorious era that had a lot of tags to it.As I walked out of the gate..I took a glance back...a thousand faces flitted through my mind...a thousand incidents...a thousand memories.the school hadn't changed of course.It was still one of those ordinary buildings with ordinary trees,ordinary gardens,an ordinary ground...a really ordinary guard...the usual noises...but the people who had lived it in for all the fourteen years of their life...they had left their imprints in the form of memories,scrawlings,lore and what not.It wasn't all bricks you know...it was alive...given life to by me,my mates and a thousand others before us.

The day after,I went to see my awesome Physics tution teacher.His influence had made a really wild kiddo study something in the last minute and get himself into one of the premier institutions in the country.Crippled with parkinson's disease since the days I have known him,his love for physics and his students remained undiminished.the enthusiasm with which he hobbled towards the shelf to take a new physics book he had bought was as the visa ads call it (the term slowly appearing after a pause)..priceless.We talked for more than two hours about things ranging frm physics to my hostel food(we are treated quite royally in our hostel...lizard n roach sushi for an instance:D).When I was dramatising about the vagaries of my college life,he cut them short..."yea right..In the end,you always pull through with that idiotic smile of yours."(I gave him a close-up 64 mm smile as a reply.)..the inner si got quite a bit ov a pull up..

The trip down the memory lane continued with me meeting up wid a lot of those idiots who mean the life to me...goin out to dinner....whacky get togethers in the zoo(ironic eh??now who would have thought of that as a reunion venue:Dcourse we always did border on the nearly insane)...simply walking together to school...chatting...talking...sharing..connecting the dots of a different life lived a lil while ago(which is a marvellous story for another blog)..twas fun...what do you call mind-glowing...

So,what was the point of this whole blog?yeah christmas eve,I sit down and write some random rambling thoughts...gee..or more cause I really awesomely missed it here and i wanted to convey it to the world.I.My college is one of the finest in India...itz a helluva fun there.But,I missed this place and I guess I missed all the people in it.

So.............................................ppl...:Dwhen's the last time when you went on a rendezvous with time?when's the last time when you let sentiments fly way over your senses?shouted your old school cheer"jeetega by jeetega..."?picked up the phone and called an old friend to whom you haven't talked for in ages?when's the last time you and your school gang got together and celebrated life for giving you a place and a bunch of people whom you could always return to when u feel crappy?go out.....act zonkers...shake your hair...click those photos together...put it on orkut and facebook...laugh together...do those old whacky things you once did....reconnect.....don't let your roots go dry as you live your mature adult life.wherever you are,whoever you become...come back:Dthere's no place like home.

PS:sentimentalistic?dewy-gooey?....oh blah...I need to let go once in a while. B)

                                                                                                                                    yours always,

                                                                                                                                             Torque.