College.

Dear Reader,

A week later,I will be leaving Trivandrum for my college.A flood of thoughts is pouring into  my mind as I live out the countdown,about my college.And I wanted to jot it down.

When you are in school,life's a lot simpler.You can dream the tallest of dreams.You are surrounded by people who love and protect you.There's that wonderful gang of your's,people who lived a lifetime with you.And so on and so forth.But,I am not in school now.I had made that transition one year back.And one week later,I will be officially entering my second year at college.

My feelings?hard to fathom.Engineering is something I don't like and Electronics and Communication is something I don't like at all.Transistors,resistors and capacitors look better to me when it is flushed down the toilet.And PCB's look better when I smash it down someone's head.I guess that expresses my love for Engineering.As like a million others in the world,the kid with the tall dreams fell into the rut of living out other's expectations once he graduated out of school.

But,whatever.

So College life(and some of my resolutions ;) )....

Friends?I seemed to have made a bunch of them.I have a gut feeling that some of those bonds will get really deep.It's the one redeeming factor about that college.A hostel life filled with a wide variety of characters,some of whom you have really grown to like and respect.I hell want it grow.deeper.three more years eh?\m/

Girls?Ahem Ahem.To be fair,I don't yet really know any of them.I mean.... really know.And since,All throughout my life back in Trivandrum,I have been surrounded by really proud, dashing,attitudinal tomboys including my sister,my mom and my bring-the-world-down friends,I have developed a prejudice over here in my college.There are a few hot chics,some very cool ones,one or two really innocent ones...quite a mixture but then aah well.I hope I can break a lot of ice there as well as a lot of prejudices.give me some time.:D

L n D?okay.In short,it's a club back there in my college.Not everybody gets into it.And those who do develop a long lasting relationship with it.It takes a long time for me to relate to stuff,get sentimentally attached and learn to  miss it when it's not there.Not to mention,I am inherently lazy and this is one hectic club,planning and doing all sort of stuff..So,I am looking forward to this one.this relationship eh?

Dreams?Yeah okay.I made a mistake.But I guess sitting around and cryin won't do.Campus placements are not what I want I guess,really.It did be fun attending all those interviews.But,I want to do something maddening with life.Not sit in an office.I do plan to write every single examinations around.all those three-letter,four-letter ones you can think of.yeah every single one of them.for the fun of it.And,I am certainly attempting some of those childhood dreams.Astronaut, Spy,Cryptographer,Mathematician,Astronomer,Teacher...its a long list, really.I seem to be suffering  from a lack of goal.I do actually,I havent found out what I really love and I am not going to make the same mistake twice.Read transistors,resistors,capacitors and PCBs.An ode to jumping around,acting crazy,and doing mad things till you find what you love.

My Love?No not the dreams...the live one..wow that sounds real dorky.extremely.so,shove it.She already knows.perfectly.

My Schoolmates?wait a second.How do they connect to my college life?.I wont be able to explain it but they do.I may not maintain contact very often.toldja,I am inherently very lazy.But,I did like to keep some of them really close to my life.of course,things are not what it was.We have all changed,havent we?from the really fantastically wild kids we were,now each of us living our own lives.But,that doesnt mean anything really.There is this awesome amount of happiness and glow I get when I see and talk to some of you.And to these people I say, I hell dont wanna miss anything in your lives nor do I want you people to miss out on mine.promise?

My School?eh.....Ah couldn't resist again.yeah I know I am talking of college life.And whenever,I am at crossroads in my college life(I guess,there will be a lot many on the way)I will be coming back here to fall back to the memories,to get inspired to choose what I really want and to fucking party with life...roots eh?the 14 years....yeah I am in college but I am going to hold on to this one.won't grow up.no chance in hell.:D

And now for the ending. cmon how do I end this?When I finally got out of school,I had an inner glow.A feeling that I had fuckin lived it the way I wanted,giving two cahoots to everybody and yet I had people surrounding me who loved me for what I was.I had done a lot of crazy stuff.And I had developed a bond.I chose this college because of a lot of reasons.Some of them were not at all stupid(sarcasm!sarcasm!).And,some of them,never materialised out.ahem.And now it's kind of uncertain.(which is about the best word I could come up with.)But,isn't there something sexy in the uncertainess?eh?And so,There's one thing I wanna shout out loud and clear amidst all that uncertainess.When I come out of my college,it will be exactly similar to the way I got out of school.

It's a promise.

your always,

Torque.

 

 

"We had joys.."

Dear whoever-cares-to-read-this-blog,

a christmas eve.a brief period of inactivity and my mind strays itself into random thoughts.three more days and I'll be leaving home for a college far away..home..Trivandrum...nearly one month ago...I set my foot here..hoping to get a respite from my college life,which honestly speaking havent meant much to me.(yeah well I had fun and as usual ended up in a potload ova shit but it did lack a finesse..the inner si...:P)I always thought college had somehow changed me.

So,when I came back home,I decided I would visit my school first and do a bit of soul searching.late evening,I took off in my honda and traversed through the empty pathways leading to my school.As usual,one thing led to the other and I was in the past rather than the present.(which being a usual case.I m quite the dreamy kind)..though, due to a lot of humps on the road..my reminscence got interrupted quite a bit.Ironically,when I finally reached my school,the guard did not let me in.He certainly did not seem to care about nostalgia or the higher things in life..I returned dejected but seeing a couple of hot chics on the pathway led onto another trail of memories..:D

the next day,I visited the school officially...as an ex-student...I entered the school after doing quite a bit of glaring at the guard..and met my teachers.a lot of chitchatting ensued.interestingly,I heard much about how school life was slowly degrading.the generation gaps were certainly widening.they must have said the same things to our seniors.:Dbut,I found myself agreeing to what I heard.you feel a glow when you are described as the end of a glorious era that had a lot of tags to it.As I walked out of the gate..I took a glance back...a thousand faces flitted through my mind...a thousand incidents...a thousand memories.the school hadn't changed of course.It was still one of those ordinary buildings with ordinary trees,ordinary gardens,an ordinary ground...a really ordinary guard...the usual noises...but the people who had lived it in for all the fourteen years of their life...they had left their imprints in the form of memories,scrawlings,lore and what not.It wasn't all bricks you know...it was alive...given life to by me,my mates and a thousand others before us.

The day after,I went to see my awesome Physics tution teacher.His influence had made a really wild kiddo study something in the last minute and get himself into one of the premier institutions in the country.Crippled with parkinson's disease since the days I have known him,his love for physics and his students remained undiminished.the enthusiasm with which he hobbled towards the shelf to take a new physics book he had bought was as the visa ads call it (the term slowly appearing after a pause)..priceless.We talked for more than two hours about things ranging frm physics to my hostel food(we are treated quite royally in our hostel...lizard n roach sushi for an instance:D).When I was dramatising about the vagaries of my college life,he cut them short..."yea right..In the end,you always pull through with that idiotic smile of yours."(I gave him a close-up 64 mm smile as a reply.)..the inner si got quite a bit ov a pull up..

The trip down the memory lane continued with me meeting up wid a lot of those idiots who mean the life to me...goin out to dinner....whacky get togethers in the zoo(ironic eh??now who would have thought of that as a reunion venue:Dcourse we always did border on the nearly insane)...simply walking together to school...chatting...talking...sharing..connecting the dots of a different life lived a lil while ago(which is a marvellous story for another blog)..twas fun...what do you call mind-glowing...

So,what was the point of this whole blog?yeah christmas eve,I sit down and write some random rambling thoughts...gee..or more cause I really awesomely missed it here and i wanted to convey it to the world.I.My college is one of the finest in India...itz a helluva fun there.But,I missed this place and I guess I missed all the people in it.

So.............................................ppl...:Dwhen's the last time when you went on a rendezvous with time?when's the last time when you let sentiments fly way over your senses?shouted your old school cheer"jeetega by jeetega..."?picked up the phone and called an old friend to whom you haven't talked for in ages?when's the last time you and your school gang got together and celebrated life for giving you a place and a bunch of people whom you could always return to when u feel crappy?go out.....act zonkers...shake your hair...click those photos together...put it on orkut and facebook...laugh together...do those old whacky things you once did....reconnect.....don't let your roots go dry as you live your mature adult life.wherever you are,whoever you become...come back:Dthere's no place like home.

PS:sentimentalistic?dewy-gooey?....oh blah...I need to let go once in a while. B)

                                                                                                                                    yours always,

                                                                                                                                             Torque.