To do.

Being in college and getting halfway through, results in the whole world asking you one question.

"Bacha,what are you going to do with your life?"

Until some time ago,the only sensible thing I could say was "gak".

Recently,I watched this movie called 'Bucket list'.It's not a great movie.It's basically this cliche about two dudes who got cancer and they make a list of things to do and blah.

This got me thinking.I hate engineering.I have no preference between MBA,IAS,placement yada yada.I mean my heart does not exactly leap at the thought of any of those stuff.

One of my friends told me that I am too passionate with life and not at all practical.I agree.

So,here goes my list.

1)Skydiving,bungee jumping and para gliding.(Nope.not a rip-off from the movie.wanted to do the same for like ever.)

2)Visit Disneyland.(childhood stuff.I tend to never grow up.)

3)Write a novel and publish it.(courtesy LnD and all the noticeboard work.)

4)Stay in a luxurious hotel near a beach for like one week,get pampered. :D

5)Become an astronaut.(for zero-g and that cool view of earth)

6)Build up a small business enterprise and when it becomes too big,get out with fair remunerations ;)

7)Be the coolest dad to my kids.(put into my head by this series called 'Castle')

8)Have sex in all the wild positions described by kamasutra(too much of porn,I think)

9)Publish a thesis.(tada...yeah and to fall in love with and study something,that is not a college course)

10)Fall in love and marry a hawt,attitude girl with the right kinda heart(Mushiness.This reminds me so much of the crap I told on stage for first year debutante)

11)Get totally wasted for one week in a row.(This one's easy considering the college I am in.:D)

12)Learn to fly a biplane.(It has an open cockpit.)

13)Construct a remote controlled toy helicopter(Well,I ended up in B.Tech electronics and so.;))

14)Climb Mt.Everest.(Bucket list copy-paste 1 :D)

15)Help a complete stranger.Make him smile(Bucket list copy-paste 2.Another thing that I can do easily and have like kept on procrastinating all throughout my life...will do,one day....;))

16)Make an awesome speech in the United Nations and get a standing ovation.(I don't even know where that came up from.)

17)Get my name into the Guinness book of Records.(Yeah.seriously.)

18)See a World Cup final in India,live inside the stadium with,India participating.(I missed the chance recently and I do have an idea of what I missed.So,that's why.)

19)Attend a College Re-union after like 25 years.It would be funny.very funny.

20)Ditto with school.

21)[Certain childhood promises. ;)]

22)Surprise my Dad,Mom and Sissy.This one moment for which they'll be like "oh-shit-he-did-that-for-us!"

23)Wander for like 20-something years all over the world and then finally settle in Trivandrum.And Reconnect. :)

24)This guy,my Physics tuition teacher has Parkinson's disease.He basically caught this scruffy kid and made him sit and study at like the last moment.Now,the interesting part is when I finally sat and studied,I did it for the love of it.Not for the sake of a degree or entrance.I kinda want to do that for the rest of my life.I want to give back to him,what he gave to me.

25)And,when I finally sign-off,I want to sign off bloody well.Leave footprints in concrete.Tonnes of memories.Be terribly missed.

So,I don't even know whether I am actually going to complete this list ever.But,if somebody asks me what I wish to do with my life, atleast I have an answer.

And besides,what's there in life if you don't go chase all the nutcrack things your brain cooks up?eh

College.

Dear Reader,

A week later,I will be leaving Trivandrum for my college.A flood of thoughts is pouring into  my mind as I live out the countdown,about my college.And I wanted to jot it down.

When you are in school,life's a lot simpler.You can dream the tallest of dreams.You are surrounded by people who love and protect you.There's that wonderful gang of your's,people who lived a lifetime with you.And so on and so forth.But,I am not in school now.I had made that transition one year back.And one week later,I will be officially entering my second year at college.

My feelings?hard to fathom.Engineering is something I don't like and Electronics and Communication is something I don't like at all.Transistors,resistors and capacitors look better to me when it is flushed down the toilet.And PCB's look better when I smash it down someone's head.I guess that expresses my love for Engineering.As like a million others in the world,the kid with the tall dreams fell into the rut of living out other's expectations once he graduated out of school.

But,whatever.

So College life(and some of my resolutions ;) )....

Friends?I seemed to have made a bunch of them.I have a gut feeling that some of those bonds will get really deep.It's the one redeeming factor about that college.A hostel life filled with a wide variety of characters,some of whom you have really grown to like and respect.I hell want it grow.deeper.three more years eh?\m/

Girls?Ahem Ahem.To be fair,I don't yet really know any of them.I mean.... really know.And since,All throughout my life back in Trivandrum,I have been surrounded by really proud, dashing,attitudinal tomboys including my sister,my mom and my bring-the-world-down friends,I have developed a prejudice over here in my college.There are a few hot chics,some very cool ones,one or two really innocent ones...quite a mixture but then aah well.I hope I can break a lot of ice there as well as a lot of prejudices.give me some time.:D

L n D?okay.In short,it's a club back there in my college.Not everybody gets into it.And those who do develop a long lasting relationship with it.It takes a long time for me to relate to stuff,get sentimentally attached and learn to  miss it when it's not there.Not to mention,I am inherently lazy and this is one hectic club,planning and doing all sort of stuff..So,I am looking forward to this one.this relationship eh?

Dreams?Yeah okay.I made a mistake.But I guess sitting around and cryin won't do.Campus placements are not what I want I guess,really.It did be fun attending all those interviews.But,I want to do something maddening with life.Not sit in an office.I do plan to write every single examinations around.all those three-letter,four-letter ones you can think of.yeah every single one of them.for the fun of it.And,I am certainly attempting some of those childhood dreams.Astronaut, Spy,Cryptographer,Mathematician,Astronomer,Teacher...its a long list, really.I seem to be suffering  from a lack of goal.I do actually,I havent found out what I really love and I am not going to make the same mistake twice.Read transistors,resistors,capacitors and PCBs.An ode to jumping around,acting crazy,and doing mad things till you find what you love.

My Love?No not the dreams...the live one..wow that sounds real dorky.extremely.so,shove it.She already knows.perfectly.

My Schoolmates?wait a second.How do they connect to my college life?.I wont be able to explain it but they do.I may not maintain contact very often.toldja,I am inherently very lazy.But,I did like to keep some of them really close to my life.of course,things are not what it was.We have all changed,havent we?from the really fantastically wild kids we were,now each of us living our own lives.But,that doesnt mean anything really.There is this awesome amount of happiness and glow I get when I see and talk to some of you.And to these people I say, I hell dont wanna miss anything in your lives nor do I want you people to miss out on mine.promise?

My School?eh.....Ah couldn't resist again.yeah I know I am talking of college life.And whenever,I am at crossroads in my college life(I guess,there will be a lot many on the way)I will be coming back here to fall back to the memories,to get inspired to choose what I really want and to fucking party with life...roots eh?the 14 years....yeah I am in college but I am going to hold on to this one.won't grow up.no chance in hell.:D

And now for the ending. cmon how do I end this?When I finally got out of school,I had an inner glow.A feeling that I had fuckin lived it the way I wanted,giving two cahoots to everybody and yet I had people surrounding me who loved me for what I was.I had done a lot of crazy stuff.And I had developed a bond.I chose this college because of a lot of reasons.Some of them were not at all stupid(sarcasm!sarcasm!).And,some of them,never materialised out.ahem.And now it's kind of uncertain.(which is about the best word I could come up with.)But,isn't there something sexy in the uncertainess?eh?And so,There's one thing I wanna shout out loud and clear amidst all that uncertainess.When I come out of my college,it will be exactly similar to the way I got out of school.

It's a promise.

your always,

Torque.